The True Story of How Cooper
Became Cooper The Tank Jones.
As told by Wyatt, who witnessed the aftermath.
Alright folks, now we come to the story of my big brother Cooper also known around here as Cooper the Tank Jones. And trust me there is a very good reason for that nickname. Friends this story takes place on September 11th, 2025. Now on that particular day Dad was out in his workshop working on well something. To be honest, nobody ever really knows exactly what Dad is doing out there. It could have been loading Linux onto a computer, messing around with a Raspberry Pi, adjusting one of his many antennas, or tinkering with his GOES-19 weather satellite dish. Yes folks our Dad actually has a satellite dish set up to receive images directly from the GOES-19 weather satellite. Which means that while most humans watch the weather on TV Dad prefers to download it directly from space. But I digress. Dad finally came inside the house, and Mom was sitting at her computer. Mom said, "Dave, look what just popped up on my screen." On the screen was a picture of a three-year-old Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Now you have to understand something about Mom and Dad. Any time they see a Corgi on TV, YouTube, or anywhere else, they both say the same thing. "Look at that Corgi smile we should adopt a Corgi someday." Now as a Dachshund, I feel it's important to point out that Dachshunds are clearly superior dogs. But I will admit Corgis do have a pretty impressive smile. Anyway, Dad looked at the picture. Mom looked at the picture. And I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Dad pulled out his phone and sent a text "Do you still have the Corgi?" A few seconds later his phone buzzed. He looked at the message and read the four words that Mom dreads the most. "Why yes I do." That meant the Corgi was still available. Which was surprising, because the owner was actually giving him away for free. Now normally when something is free, humans get suspicious. But when the free thing is a Corgi with a big goofy smile, suspicion goes right out the window. So before Jake, Dunkin or I could stop the process, Mom and Dad were getting ready to drive to Cookeville, Tennessee to meet this mysterious Corgi named Cooper. They arranged to meet Cooper's owner in the parking lot of a convenience store, which honestly was a pretty smart idea. When they arrived, Cooper's owner stepped out of the car and she let him out on his leash. Now here's where Cooper showed his true personality. The moment he hit the ground, he marched straight over to Dad like they had known each other for years. Friendly Happy with his tail Bob wagging. Then he walked over to Mom and did exactly the same thing. Super friendly with That Big Corgi smile, it was the Perfect behavior. Within fifteen minutes, the decision had been made. Cooper was going home with Mom and Dad, which meant he was also going home to meet his three new brothers: Jake, Dunkin and me Wyatt. His name was already Cooper, and Mom and Dad both agreed it suited him perfectly. He just looked like a Cooper. But after he had been living with us for a few days, he earned a new nickname. You see, when Cooper goes outside in the yard He pees on everything. The grass, the bushes, the trees, the fence and the grow boxes. He would probably pee on the neighbor's mailbox if he could get to it. And the strange thing is He never runs out. Ever! It's like he has a secret reserve tank somewhere. That's when Dad started calling him: "The Tank." Now I should point out something very important here. Despite Cooper's impressive outdoor watering abilities He never pees in the house. None of us do. Not me. Not Dunkin. Not Cooper. We are far too sophisticated for that nonsense. Dunkin and Cooper love to play chase. Dunkin will chase Cooper and then Cooper will chase Dunkin. They play together like they have been together all of their lives. Now folks during the day Cooper goes out to the workshop with Dad every day. He supervises Dad while Dad writes his books, works on computers, or tinkers with whatever strange electronic project is happening that day. And let me tell you something If Cooper doesn't get to go to the shop with Dad, he gets very unhappy. Apparently he takes his job as Chief Workshop Supervisor very seriously. So that, my friends is the true story of how a Corgi from Cookeville with a big goofy smile became Cooper the Tank Jones. And between you and me Life around here has been a lot louder, a lot funnier, and a lot wetter ever since.