The True Story of How
I Became Wyatt Earp Jones.
As told by the real Wyatt himself, of course.
Howdy folks! It's me, Wyatt - your favorite flying Dachshund. Today I'm going to tell you the true story of my real Mom, Linda, my real Dad, Dave, and how I came to be... well, Wyatt. You see, me and my brothers Jake and Dunkin are real live Dachshunds, and Cooper and Reese are real live Corgis. We are the real dogs that our characters in Dad's stories are based on. The stories may have airplanes and adventures and a lot of flying, but the dogs? Oh, we are very real personalities, and believe you me, Mom and Dad know it.
Before I get to my part of the story, we have to go back a little ways.
Mom and Dad have been married going on 32 years, and during that time they have rescued around 32 dogs and a dozen or more cats.
Now that, my friends, is what we Dachshunds call a proper household. Apparently when Mom and Dad first met, Mom already had a gorgeous long-haired red Dachshund named Jeremy. Mom had rescued Jeremy from the Humane Society of Collier County in Naples, Florida. She had been volunteering there, and one day someone showed her this long-haired red Dachshund that needed a home. Mom says it was love at first sight.
Now I should point out that this is a very common condition when humans encounter Dachshunds. We have that effect on people. I had the exact same effect on Mom and Dad myself. It's what we in the Dachshund community call "Wienerdog-induced instant affection."
Anyway, Mom named him Jeremy, and Jeremy turned out to be the best first Dachshund Dad could have ever met. Dad jokes that it was Jeremy who "wienerized" him. Up until then, Dad had never really been around Dachshunds very much. But Jeremy fixed that problem immediately. And now, almost 32 years later, Dad is just as addicted to Dachshunds as Mom is. He is also now addicted to "Corgis", but we'll get to that little situation later. Personally, I think it has something to do with us having short legs and enormous personalities.
Now before I showed up, there was Jake. Mom and Dad already had Jake and Della. Della was Mom's beautiful little red long-haired female Dachshund. Mom and Della did everything together - kind of like Mom and Daisy Sue in Dad's books. Della passed away in November of 2024, and poor Jake was absolutely heartbroken. Mom and Dad had Jake for about 15 years. They adopted him in late 2010, when he was around a year old, maybe a year and a half. Jake had been turned into a shelter in Florida because he had fleas. Yes, folks. Fleas. Can you imagine that? Throwing out a perfectly good Dachshund over a few freeloading insects. Humans can be very strange sometimes.
But it turned out to be Jake's lucky day, because Mom and Dad adopted him, and that is when he became "Jake The Snuggle Bug Jones." One of the best little Dachshunds anyone could ever have. Back when Mom and Dad still lived in Florida, Jake would go to work with Dad every single day. Jake was quiet, calm, and laid-back - exactly like he's portrayed in Dad's books. Mom and Dad sadly lost Jake in early January of 2026, and after having lived with him for 15 years they still miss him very much.
Now that brings us to the current crew. That would be me - Wyatt, my brothers Dunkin, Cooper and Reese the Corgis. And folks, this is where my story gets interesting. Mom found me by accident. She was getting ready to post a sewing machine for sale on LSN. While she was typing up the ad, another ad popped up on the screen.
That ad was me... a beautiful long-haired black and gray dapple Dachshund with a Blue right eye and a Brown left eye.
Mom thought I looked very unique, which is a polite way of saying I looked extra handsome. So she saved the ad to show Dad later.
Well, friends, when Dad saw my picture, he immediately said something that every Dachshund hopes to hear: "Text them and ask if they still have him."
The seller replied and said that yes, I was still available. Dad asked if Mom, Dad, and Jake could come meet me. And folks, within a few hours they came to meet me, and in less than an hour, I had a new Mom, a new Dad, and a new older brother. Well folks, that part of the story went beautifully. The ride home, however... not so much.
I was riding in the back seat, and Jake was riding in Mom's lap in the front passenger seat. Mom and Dad were discussing what they should name me. They were bouncing different names back and forth.
About five minutes into the trip Jake looked in the back where I was sitting, he turned to Mom and said, "Mom, he's still back there." About that time, I threw up.
Right there in the back seat. Yep, I just let it go. "BARF". Now thankfully Mom had already put seat covers on the back seat because she apparently understands that Dachshunds sometimes have strong opinions about Dad's driving. Dad pulled the car over, he got me out and walked me around while Mom cleaned up the back seat.
Back in the car we went.
Five minutes later Jake said, "Mom, he's still back there." Well folks, I threw up again. So once again Dad pulled over. We walked. Mom cleaned. Back in the car we went.
Five minutes later... Yep, as soon as Jake said "Mom, he's still back there," you guessed it, Round three. Dad pulled over again. Walk. Clean. Back in the car we went.
Five minutes later, Jake said it again and then we had Round four. By this point there really wasn't much left in my stomach, but I felt it was important to remain consistent. So once again Dad and I walked while Mom cleaned. Back in the car we went.
Mom told Jake, "Will you please stop saying it?" This time... Five minutes passed. No throw up. Ten minutes passed, still good. Thirty minutes passed, still clean.
Mom and Dad were back to discussing possible names when suddenly they both said at the exact same time: "We should call him WYATT EARP!" And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the true story of how I became - Wyatt Earp Jones.
And just like that, we pulled into the driveway of my new home. With no more throw-up sessions. Which Mom and Dad both considered a very encouraging sign.